SILVER SPRING, Md. — In rare commentary on political matters, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued an emergency statement saying that “the world may end in 2020 if Kanye Read more […]
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Miley Cyrus, the risk-embracing host of this year’s MTV Video Music Awards has announced that as she is in charge of tonight’s proceedings, she will be “taking a wrecking Read more […]
GRANITE BAY, Calif. — In Doug Batchelor news completely unrelated to the papacy or women’s ordination, the much-discussed Seventh-day Adventist Evangelist announced an emotional reunion with Read more […]
CALABASAS, Calif. — Perhaps the most famous 18-year-old in the world, Los Angeles native Kylie Jenner graduated with her high school diploma this summer and has enrolled as a business management Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist World Headquarters was completely aflutter today at the news that General Conference President Ted Wilson could face disciplinary action for questionable Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — McKee Foods, the Adventist-owned parent company of the legendary Little Debbie snack cakes, is being forced to rebrand. The reason? Little Debbie can by no stretch of the Read more […]
Washington, D.C. — Researchers at the National Institute for Social Science have concluded a ten year study into romantic matchmaking by identifying the demographic most likely to have found Read more […]
LANSING, Mich. — Never a conference to shy away from taking a hard line on controversial issues, the Michigan Conference has officially banned sex on Sabbath among its membership. “Not only Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Pushy Adventist headhunters have been barging into Copenhagen’s cafe church, a string of church offices and other hotspots of Adventist Denmark trying to find a replacement Read more […]
Silver Spring, MD — General Conference leaders seeking a catchy slogan to power their efforts until the next GC elections have found one they are convinced has a fun ring to it: Unity Over Conscience. “What Read more […]
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