Silver Spring, MD — General Conference leaders seeking a catchy slogan to power their efforts until the next GC elections have found one they are convinced has a fun ring to it: Unity Over Conscience.
“What happened with the women’s ordination vote at the General Conference Session in San Antonio should be a blueprint for church business going forward,” said GC Propaganda Director, Beau Spinner. “The guys at the top pressure the masses to vote a certain way and then voting minorities have to suffer through truth as defined by majority vote. If losers speak their conscience they can then be accused of hurting church unity.”
Spinner said that through embracing a Unity Over Conscience mentality, “we can avoid a flexible future for Adventism in which we are held hostage to a culturally-sensitive way of applying biblical principles through prayerful personal study and consideration.
“We all know that biblical truth is defined by the majority opinion of church heavyweights saddled with cultural baggage from oppressive man-made traditions.”
Spinner reminded members that in emotionally-charged times such as these it is important to prioritize “every Adventist moving in lockstep” over giving undue consideration to things as personal as individual conscience.
“I urge my fellow Adventists to cast conscience aside and unite under the great leadership of the aging males that have led us thus far,” said Spinner. “Anything else would be a logistical nightmare and require cutting bureaucracy at our offices.”
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