GC Executive Committee Letter Of Warning To Biden Over Female VP Commitment

Dear Vice President Biden, We got the news that you are planning on choosing a female running mate. This letter is our warning to you that you are heading down a slippery slope by Read more […]

No News Is Good News: It’s Been A While Since Women’s Ordination Has Been In Adventist News So It’s Safe To Assume It’s All Been Solved By Now

Over the last few months, nobody’s been saying much about women’s ordination. We’re guessing that’s because we Adventists have officially worked the whole thing out. Who knew we had it in us Read more […]

Members Reprimand Leaders For Not Earning Annual Council Warnings

ADVENTIST WORLD — As division and union leaders around the world begin to report on Annual Council to their local church members, they are facing one uncomfortable question: “Where’s your I Read more […]

Delegate With No Instance Of Non-Compliance To Cast First Stone Of Annual Council Reprimand

SILVER SPRING, Md. — As Annual Council delegates ready themselves for the important duty of shaming conscientious objectors, leaders are reminded of heavenly policy stipulating that only a delegate Read more […]

GC: Natalie Portman Can Be Commissioned But Not Ordained As New Thor

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has weighed in on the Marvel Studios announcement that Natalie Portmam will play Thor in the upcoming franchise installment “Thor: Love and Thunder.” Read more […]