BRADFORD, England — British heartthrob Zayn Malik spoke out for the first time today about his plans after quitting ultra popular boy band One Direction earlier this week. In a complete reroute of his career, the singer has chosen to join decades-old Adventist favorite, the Heritage Singers.
“You get to a point where it’s no longer about the girls, parties and fame,” said Malik. “Pop acts come and go but the Heritage Singers are crazy old and have been churning out albums longer than I’ve been alive. I want to be part of something with that kind of longevity and gravitas.”
Heritage Singers leader and co-founder Max Mace said that Malik is the perfect complement to his group and that the chemistry in early practice sessions that started up yesterday was electric. “The kid has given us just the jolt we needed!” enthused Mace. “If only he could also give us some of that hair!”
“The consensus among Adventist music critics is that Malik has exponentially increased the sex appeal of the Heritage Singers,” said Adventist Review music columnist Jay Bourget. “This is why this group has been around for so long: They know when to inject fresh talent into the mix.”
While some have objected to Malik joining the group on grounds that he is not an Adventist, Mace stressed that although the group mostly performs to Adventists, they are a welcoming, interdenominational family. “We welcome Zayn with open arms. His talent, youth and undeniable charisma cannot help but propel our ministry in One Direction: up.”