WASHINGTON, D.C. — Foolproof voting tech guaranteed to prevent any kind of foul play or delay in results has been identified to rescue the US general election from voter fraud. The General Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The traditional ivory white sheet cake at the annual gathering of Adventist Heritage Enthusiasts was dispensed with this year due to the difficulty of sharing cake via Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The entire Adventist world is fighting back tears at the news that the denomination’s defining event – Potluck Olympics – has been cancelled due to the coronavirus Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — 7-Eleven stores in the Silver Spring area have run out of application forms after being flooded by employment requests from GC officials worried about their re-election Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference announced this morning that the ordination eligibility of rapper-turned-gospel-star, Kanye West, would be placed on the agenda for next summer’s GC Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A special all-male committee of GC executives has been asked to write a position statement on whether pets get to go to heaven. Although the Bible will be consulted, Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Earlier today, a canoe flying the General Conference flag was seized by a North American Division kayak patrol that claimed the vessel had strayed into the NAD corner of Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A massive renovation project has transformed the General Conference auditorium into an echo chamber featuring cutting-edge technology that ensures those inside the hall Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Citing the “magic of Singapore” that allowed for a successful series of meetings between US President Donald Trump and North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un, Adventist leaders Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has decided to pull the plug on “the nuclear option” of taking over and disbanding unions that are in favor of women’s ordination. Read more […]
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