Bleak Prospects: Silver Spring 7-Elevens Flooded With Applications From Panicked GC Officials Facing Election Season

SILVER SPRING, Md. — 7-Eleven stores in the Silver Spring area have run out of application forms after being flooded by employment requests from GC officials worried about their re-election prospects.

With GC Session 2020 just around the corner, some of the convenience store applicants have offered to jump ship to 7-Eleven before next summer as the chain offers several times more job security than the cavernous denominational headquarters.

“We are running into a logistical nightmare because all our recent job applicants are requesting Friday night and Saturdays off,” said a local store manager. “Many candidates are also asking about whether they have to sign any compliance documents ahead of their hire dates.”


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One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    7-11’s do not give you Sabbaths off. This is the busiest day of the week. 7-11 is in the business of making money. Remember the time the GC dropped 7-11 from its investments due to selling a certain adult magazine? Also, 7-11 employees need to know how to make a veggie-slurpees, cook pork filled hot dogs, keep the caffeine pots filled at all times, sell tobacco products and who knows what other unclean items they must touch. I know. Been there. Done that. I do love the slurpees. Lots of sugar!

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