MARIETTA, Ga. — Chuck Packen, a lifelong Adventist and proud father of 17-year-old daughter Carrie, has already completely forgotten the Desmond T. Doss talking points that he had ready for Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special dispensation for fans desperate to see Pixar’s new release, Finding Dory, General Conference officials have opted to allow Seventh-day Adventists to see the Read more […]
NEW YORK, N.Y. — In a rare policy speech this morning, presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump vowed to stop the Seventh-day Adventist Church from outsourcing its baptisms to countries outside Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Environmentally-conscious Adventists were shocked today as the General Conference released a statement on global warming stating that “environmental conservation Read more […]
Adventist congregations across America are working flat out recruiting their best volunteers to erect huge monuments to paganism before the biggest deadline on the Christian calendar. Although Read more […]
BITTERROOT MOUNTAINS, Mont. — A band of Adventists that fled to the Bitterroots range of the Rockies with a giant haul of FriChik has, upon arrival, learned that they forgot to bring a can opener. Read more […]
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Employees of the Alamodome Starbucks stores are ecstatic over an agreement made with the Seventh-day Adventist Church. During the General Conference World Session, the Alamodome Read more […]
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