AMAZING: Amazon Launches “Before You Click We Will Answer” Delivery Service

UNITED STATES – In a truly inspired service upgrade, Amazon launched its “Before You Click We Will Answer” delivery service today. The service means that indecisive customers who have no idea Read more […]

Thunberg To GC: Stop Killing Trees To Print Quarterlies. App Is Way Better.

NEW YORK, N.Y. — Climate activist Greta Thunberg used a portion of her United Nations address this week to implore the General Conference to stop killing trees by printing Sabbath School quarterlies. The Read more […]

‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Sequel Set on Luxurious Campus of the SDA Southern Asia-Pacific Division

CAVITE, Philippines — As the long-awaited romantic comedy, Crazy Rich Asians, wows audiences around the world with its stunning portrayal of Singapore’s hot spots, studio executives have already Read more […]

MTV relaunches ‘Cribs’ with tour of Southern Asia-Pacific Division of Seventh-day Adventists

NEW YORK, N.Y. — MTV has announced plans to relaunch “Cribs,” the much-loved show which flaunted the incredible residences of rich celebrities. The first new episode will feature a building Read more […]

Adventist Church offers tithing discount if you pay for 2019 upfront

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventists have an opportunity to save significantly on their tithing expenses in 2019. The General Conference is giving every baptized member until the end Read more […]

General Conference on global warming: it’s all going to burn anyway

  SILVER SPRING, Md. — Environmentally-conscious Adventists were shocked today as the General Conference released a statement on global warming stating that “environmental conservation Read more […]

GC Stewardship Department employee wins Maryland Lottery

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The winner of the Maryland’s most recent Mega Millions Lottery jackpot has released a statement saying that he is “at once the luckiest and the unluckiest man in Maryland.” With Read more […]

Adventist credit unions to forgive loans every 7th year

GLENDALE, Calif. — In a major policy overhaul, the Association of Adventist Credit Unions (AACU) has announced that all of its member credit unions are instituting a policy guaranteeing Read more […]