UNITED STATES – In a truly inspired service upgrade, Amazon launched its “Before You Click We Will Answer” delivery service today.
The service means that indecisive customers who have no idea what to shop for will simply receive items that an advanced Amazon algorithm decides they really want or need.
Not only will Amazon now send you your daily bread but the company has vowed to flawlessly handle your Christmas shopping as well since if it were left up to you, your dad would get a lame tie and socks yet again this year.
The company said that the new offering would offer same-day delivery across the continental United States and that credit cards would be charged “like a thief in the night when you least expect it.”
You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.
The Amazon thing is NOT funny – I recently quit their Prime because they seemed to want to do my thinking & am shopping Amazon a whole lot Less because of policy changes in the past few years – Jeff Bezos has ‘crossed the line’ of consumer decency – He seems to think we are there to ‘serve’ him, not vice versa –
At first when I read your posts, it seemed you were trying to call our attention to inconsistencies and outright false principles even fanatical issues in Adventism. It was a blessing to find a site that understood the real issues and was pointing them out in the least offensive way possible.
Now it seems you are really interested in the mundane just to be funny. This one comes out to me as making fun of God’s Word and has nothing to do with modern Adventism. It would serve your soul a lot better if you would search the Word for a Saviour crucified for you instead of poking fun at a Holy God revealed in His Word. I pray for you.
Maybe those future GC and others not elected or reelected can find work at Amazon to deliver a different kind of good news. Or they could show up at your door singing your favorite hymn from the SDA hymnal. As a former SDA employee can I work for Amazon to supplement my pension?