NEW YORK, N.Y. — MTV has announced plans to relaunch “Cribs,” the much-loved show which flaunted the incredible residences of rich celebrities. The first new episode will feature a building and grounds that MTV promises will “show off rockstar luxury” and the ultimate in decadent excess: the headquarters of the Southern Asia Pacific Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
Easily the most mansion-like of Adventist administrative centers, the extravagant Cavite, Philippines-based buildings and campus show the “gorgeous working and lifestyle conditions of the Seventh-day Adventist elite,” said Cribs producer, Boy Blingbling.
“It takes a while for a nonprofit to raise the money for these kinds of office digs,” said Blingbling, “but a culture of giving is encouraged from when Adventists are tiny and sing the song Hear the Pennies Dropping in Cradle Roll Sabbath School.”
Blingbling said that from his research, most Adventists expect their church’s resources to be spent on less flashy causes like exposed brick churches or development and relief efforts.
“MTV is grateful that once in a while, a few Adventist administrators decide that saving the world can happen from the comfort of a sick crib,” he said.