Stuck Inside All Day? Watch Union College Students Try Veggie Meat Uncooked Straight Out Of The Can

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EZghRrxbPsE&feature=youtu.be#dialog Thanks to the Union College Communication Program for letting us share this stomach-churning video! [NO QUICK REMINDER] SPONSORED Read more […]

Ben Carson Begs Adventists To Stop Panic Buying Stripples

Cool it. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has a special message for Adventists during the coronavirus crisis. The Adventist member of President Trump’s cabinet asked his Read more […]

Adventist Scientists Forced To Disclose Religious Affiliation Before Recommending Stripples

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — The American Dietary Association claims that Adventist scientists are allowing their religious bias to color their nutritional recommendations. The ADA is particularly Read more […]

Sam’s Chicken Earns Andrews Cafeteria A Michelin Star

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In an absolute first for an Adventist institution, the Andrews University cafeteria has been awarded a Michelin star in recognition of its “longstanding dedication to Read more […]

Trump Calls On America To “Give Big Franks A Try On The 4th Of July”

  WASHINGTON DC – US President Donald Trump used his much anticipated 4th of July address to call for unity and reform in how America eats on Independence Day. Speaking above the roar Read more […]

Loma Linda University releases tick that makes you vegetarian

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A team of Adventist ultravegetarians, some random hikers and several senior Loma Linda University biologists have successfully engineered a tick that makes those it bites vegetarian. “We Read more […]

Adventists offer #nuggsforCarter kid lifetime of FriChik to become vegetarian

RENO, Nevada — Carter Wilkerson who just won a year’s supply of Wendy’s chicken nuggets for having the most retweeted Twitter post of all time has received an even juicier offer from the Adventist Read more […]

Argentine port authorities bust Adventists for smuggling veggie meat into “steak capital”

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — The largest smuggling scandal in Adventist history erupted yesterday as the Buenos Aires Port Authority charged the Argentine Seventh-day Adventist Church with trafficking Read more […]