Adventist Church asks Trump to pardon all turkeys this Thanksgiving

Lucky turkey
Lucky turkey

WASHINGTON, D.C. — While Donald Trump pardoned his first turkey as president of the United States, he received a request from the Adventist Church that he extend the pardon to all turkeys this Thanksgiving.

The denomination which preaches the advantages of vegetarian eating said in a letter to the president that the blanket turkey pardon would “make American turkeys great again” as they would be the most thankful turkeys in the world.

The letter asked Trump to include in his pardon an invitation for Americans to “taste and see that Tofurky actually tastes pretty darn good.”

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  1. Harvey Winestain

    Women spend half of their life trying to look attractive to get attention from men. Then, when the men given them that attention, the women complain about it.

    Hint: if the women finds the man attractive, it is called “flattering attention.” If the woman is not attracted to the man, it is called “harassment.” In other words, “harassment” is any attention from a man when the woman does not happen to find him attractive. And women don’t bother to announce in advance whether or not they find the man attractive.

    From now on, men should take the safe approach: avoid all women completely. After all, their species is known to cause trouble, ever since the days of Eve. Just stay away from them. Good riddance!

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