Thankful Adventists ignore temperance message, pig out

Eat up!!
Eat up!!

ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists across the United States threw caution and any attempt at temperance to the blustery winds this Thanksgiving as they sat down to dinner.

Devouring unspeakable amounts of food, members spoke of countless things for which they were thankful while neatly side-stepping any mention of health message warnings of the dangers of over-eating.

Making a mental note to block out anything and everything they had learned at health ministries seminars over the years, Adventists stuffed their faces with meat substitutes, mashed potatoes, gravy and every other rich food they could lay hands on.

“Eating Thanksgiving dinner is like eating on Sabbath, the calories don’t count,” said lifelong Adventist, Ima Chow as she stacked her plate with a third helping of veggie goodness. “Besides, I’m signing up for a CHIP course next week.”

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One comment

  1. Richee Rich

    My veggie Thanksgiving meal was FriChick with veggie stuffing & veggie gravy. Yummmy. At Our church’s Community Dinner, we all ate the real stuff. Yummmmmmmy! No more Little Debbies. A pagan image is printed on the new holiday boxes. Don’t eat Little Debbies until the pagan image is gone, out of sight, remain on the shelves, no mas. Long Live the SDA Health message.

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