Andrews Seminarians’ #1 Pickup Line: God wants us to be together


BERRIEN SPRING, Mich. — According to an anonymous survey done of single seminarians at Andrews University, their favorite pick-up line by far is “God wants us to be together.”

Nine out of ten seminarians confessed to using the line to help their romantic efforts around campus.

“There’s a reason these guys are still single,” said Student Success Center spokesperson Noyoo Dident. “That line is as creepy as it is over-used.”

Dident has distributed tracts to the Andrews undergraduate population titled “No He Doesn’t.”

She encourages anyone approached by a seminarian wielding the pickup line to simply respond by handing over the tract and promising prayer.

Advertise on BarelyAdventist


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

Check out the Sonscreen Film Festival!

Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts |


(Visited 601 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Roy More

    In the midst of the barrage of scandals hitting the news nowadays, Ted Wilsson has been accused of harassing Little Debbie at the bakery 40 years ago by repeatedly demanding that “God wants us together.” She even claims that he signed her high school yearbook. However, Pastor Ted adamantly denounced the allegations, declaring that he never heard of this woman and has no idea where the bakery is or was. As for the yearbook, he and his wife declared that it is a forgery.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *