ADVENTIST WORLD — A heated disagreement over how to pronounce the word “Adventist” has led Adventists on either side of the argument to stop speaking to each other.
Those convinced that the correct pronunciation is “AD-ventist” are infuriated at the swelling numbers of the “ad-VENtists” that have threatened to bring the question to a vote at the next General Conference session.
Analysts claim that if the matter were to go to vote today, the “ad-VENtists” would win handily despite whimperings from the “AD-ventists” about historical correctness.
“The ‘AD-ventists’ have dug their heels in and are refusing to give up without a fight,” said head Adventist statistician, Sept Jours, predicting that the argument will continue to brew for years to come.
“We Adventists are great at obsessing about just about anything other than mission.”