Biden Grills Harris On Pathfinder Pledge & Law Ahead Of Loma Linda Campaign Stop

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Within hours of announcing California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden cleared his schedule to test his VP on what he Read more […]

Loma Linda Church Greeters Trade Handshakes For Fist Bumps To Fight Coronavirus

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventist churches in the Loma Linda area have taken it upon themselves to set a good example during the coronavirus outbreak. Instead of shaking members’ hands to wish Read more […]

Supreme Court To Rule On Whether Loma Linda Is “More Adventist” Than Berrien Springs

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A question that has been burning in the minds of thousands of Adventists for decades may finally be answered this year: Is Loma Linda more Adventist than Berrien Springs?” As Read more […]

Loma Linda Announces Degree In Last Chance Courtship

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda University has announced a degree in Last Chance Courtship that allows students to do nothing but walk around campus flirting with medical students for four years. Read more […]

Life-Saving Grape Surgery Performed at Loma Linda

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A critically injured grape was rushed to Loma Linda University Medical Center this afternoon after a terrible fall from a local kitchen counter. Already dangerously close Read more […]

Loma Linda University releases tick that makes you vegetarian

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A team of Adventist ultravegetarians, some random hikers and several senior Loma Linda University biologists have successfully engineered a tick that makes those it bites vegetarian. “We Read more […]

Loma Linda dental hygiene loses accreditation after student graduates single

Loma Linda, Calif. — A devastating blow was dealt to the Loma Linda School of Dentistry’s Dental Hygiene program today as it was stripped of its accreditation. The popular program lost its Read more […]

Candidates visit Loma Linda, hire rival CHIP lifestyle coaches

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — In a bid to convince voters they are healthy enough to win the presidency, both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have signed up for personalized CHIP (Complete Health Improvement Read more […]