Loma Linda University to be fitted with large plastic bubble

Uber Bubble
Uber Bubble

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — In the first construction project of its kind anywhere in the world, Loma Linda University administrators have announced that the school and its immediate surroundings will be fitted with a durable plastic bubble.

“We will stop at nothing to make Loma Linda University the most bubbly of Adventist bubbles,” said Loma Linda Vice President for Insularity Inna Toobe.

Funding for the mammoth construction project will come both from the over-priced university and the General Conference Remnant Technologies Foundation.

Toobe said that anyone living in the bubble will be issued a tag to be worn prominently on overly-modest clothing.

The tag will simply say “Us.” Visitors to the bubble will be issued “Them” tags.

The bubble will cover the Loma Linda campus as well as a few essentials, such as Adventist grocery stores, carob manufacturers and funeral homes.

“Loma Linda has been chosen for bubble fitting since it is an excellent example of a community where you can go from the cradle to the grave talking only to Adventists,” said Toobe.

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  1. This so called “bubble” is no more than a hedge around God’s people. It’s been that way since the Exodus. I see it around every SDA church that I visit. It is very visible. Even the outsiders see it. Us insiders take it for granted. Part of this “bubble” disappears when the pot lucks begins. I usually go home with a slight tummy ache. At home I consume one or two Little Debbies, I’m OK!! DO I hear an AMEN? Are you with me? DId I hear somebody clapping? Pox on your house!!

  2. Seymour Butts

    I could see this bubble being built at Uchee Pines or Hartland, but not Loma Linda, and not La Sierra. Those “California Adventists” are indistinguishable from the heathens around them. They drink coffee and tea, they go to movie theaters, they even drink wine. “As it was in the days of Noah. . . . .”

  3. Pearl White

    More Fake News. This site is made to look like a real news reporting site, and they even took away the disclaimer (“Adventist Satire and Humor”) that used to be at the top of the page. Despite their protestations, it is not an innocent publication of parables. It is an attempt to mislead the public (and even “the very elect”) with lame attempts at so-called humor. . . . all for the sake of generating advertising revenue. There are better places to read fake news, folks. Don’t waste your time here.

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