BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — The largest smuggling scandal in Adventist history erupted yesterday as the Buenos Aires Port Authority charged the Argentine Seventh-day Adventist Church with trafficking vegetarian meat disguised as seasoned steak.
In a multi-location sting operation, Argentine investigators opened crates labeled as steak coming from the United States.
Port Authority spokesperson Asado de Tira discovered an immense amount of undeclared veggie meat that he said offended his fine-tuned steak sensibilities.
“The consequences of attempting to smuggle fake steak into the world’s undisputed steak capital will be grave,” said de Tira.
He added that while the Adventists shipping the crates claim they did so for health reasons, “the ends do not justify the means.”
While several Adventist leaders in Argentina are being held for questioning, the General Conference reminded members of its strict “Bibles Only” smuggling policy.