Police: Worst Saturday morning traffic offenders are Seventh-day Adventist

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to US police data released today, Seventh-day Adventists are by far the worst traffic offenders on Sabbath mornings. Many Seventh-day Adventists are late to church Read more […]

Adventist Church lowers maximum permissible depth of Sabbath wading water

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to more tightly articulate acceptable Sabbath keeping practices, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has released a new maximum depth of water Read more […]

Report: Adventists WAY more productive one hour before Friday sunset

BERRIEN SPINGS, Mich. — A major study into the lifestyles of Seventh-day Adventists has revealed that per hour productivity of most church members skyrockets in the hour directly preceding Friday Read more […]

Adventist manufacturer makes iron that won’t work on Sabbath

SILVER SPRING, Md. — AdventWorks, the new manufacturing arm of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, has launched a clothing iron that will not turn on during Sabbath hours. AdventWorks spokesperson Read more […]

Sabbath watches at average Adventist church contain “enough gold for calf statue”

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — New data from a survey of Adventist Sabbath-keeping habits has quantified the gold content of watches members wear to church every Sabbath. The Andrews University Read more […]

Michigan Conference bans sex on Sabbath, says it’s work

LANSING, Mich. — Never a conference to shy away from taking a hard line on controversial issues, the Michigan Conference has officially banned sex on Sabbath among its membership. “Not only Read more […]

Adventists seek reasons to justify watching Bruce Jenner interview on Friday night

HINSDALE, Ill. —- Curiosity and anticipation ran high in the weeks preceding Diane Sawyer’s interview with former Olympian Bruce Jenner for millions of Americans, even Adventists. Although Read more […]

Slide Show — Stand, sit or kneel: What to do during an Adventist church service

Confused about what to do during an Adventist church service? True, church bulletins can be rife with confusing jargon and language, but while most services vary widely in format, they’re very similar in content.