Report: Adventists WAY more productive one hour before Friday sunset

The countdown has begun....
The countdown has begun….

BERRIEN SPINGS, Mich. — A major study into the lifestyles of Seventh-day Adventists has revealed that per hour productivity of most church members skyrockets in the hour directly preceding Friday sunset.

The research, conducted by the Andrews University Department of Behavioral Sciences, revealed that the firm housecleaning deadline faced by Adventists every Friday sunset inspires a weekly frenzy of domestic productivity completely unparalleled by any other recurring event.

Adventist survey respondents confessed to being in a state of near panic as precious pre-sunset minutes tick away and they discover that not only are toilets left unscrubbed, but church outfits require ironing and, for purists, Sabbath baths remain to be drawn.

“I discover a whole new level of efficiency as sunset draws near on Friday evenings,” said Michigan City-based respondent, Ayuda May. “If only I could summon the same energy on Monday mornings.”


Where single Adventists meet. Free 2-year membership. Divorced, widowed and never married welcome. Helping Adventists to marry Adventists.

(Visited 1,100 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Kate

    As I was raising our first grandchild it was like when having taken too much food onto a plate and realizing there would be too much to consume. On Fridays as energy was waning, that would determine what got finished. Important stuff early in the morning was the given. Shower/baths would begin that last hour, during the summer. The last hour in winter was the dinner hour. What didn’t get done stayed that was until Sunday.

    1. Rabbi Rickstein

      If we just stop and enjoy the Sabbath as it was intended and not make it burden as did the Jewish pharisees, we would all be happy and enjoy our Sabbaths to a higher level.

      1. Joe SDA

        True that. We get so hung up on: “dont do this or dont do that”.
        “this type of work or activity is ok on sabbath because of x reason”.

        If working on Sabbath NOW for us gentiles of 2016 is a sin, then it is a sin regardless of the job itself or what the need is….. Ridiculous? Yes. Jesus thought so too, that is why he broke the sabbath, to get the jews away from the worship of sabbath.

        I rest on Sabbath when I can, my job keeps me on a call rotation and I work 1 weekend every month. On sabbath I tend to focus more on God and his love for us than on other days. When I do get to go to church, I enjoy the relaxed and slower pace of the Sabbath.

        Sabbath can be kept holy, not with works or lack of but with your heart and thoughts. Just saying.

  2. Dwight Neilson

    Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    Lutherans do not recognize the Pope as head of the church.
    Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
    Adventists do not recognize each other in the Walmart checkout line one minute after Friday’s sunset.

    1. Bernie Silverforce Rooster

      Now that it’s Sabbath, I’m gonna binge on 3ABN programs. I love Danny Shelton’s show, “As the World Burns.” And I can’t get enough of Doug Batchelor’s show, “The Young and the Hairless.” Also gotta see Stephen Bore’s show, “Days of Our Lice.”

    1. Howard Hues

      This article says “Adventist survey respondents confessed to being in a state of near panic as … Sabbath baths remain to be drawn.” That’s funny, since we don’t actually believe in bathing on Sabbath.

  3. Donald Plump

    If I were an Adventist, I would be like Ben Carsinogen. If I were a left-wing liberal socialist, I would be like Hellary Clinton. If I were a Republican, I would join the vast right-wing conspiracy. Vote for me: independent populist wing-nut Donald Plump.

  4. Howard Hues

    When I was growing up, the parishioners used to give me nicely gift-wrapped parcels of deodorant, cologne, soap, and mouthwash almost every Sabbath. I couldn’t understand why they did that, until I read in the Bible that “after 4 days the body stinketh.” I didn’t bathe on Wednesdays because it was too close to Sabbath. Thursdays were even closer. Fridays were way too close. So, by Sabbath, I stinketh.

  5. richard mills

    Truly said: Fridays at the edges of the Sabbath are always extra busy. Just come to my house and watch my wife do the seemingly impossible. Exactly at sundown, we all sit down and have our personal worship. Dear wifey is sound asleep in the lounge chair. I dutiful remind her to stay awake so we can welcome in the SABBATH. Sometimes, when I am commuting back home late on a Friday evening, I will pull over just at sundown and say my prayers. How neat is that? I am thankful I am not as others who must “rush” the Sabbath. What thinkest thou?

  6. richard mills

    Dear Millie: Sorry, I got caught up in waiting for sundown to occur here in my neck of the woods. I am currently watching the sun as it reaches its zenith. The countdown is on.
    Are we there yet? How long will the sun take to go down? Can I watch my TV until a few minutes before sundown? Now-WOE IZ ME!! The same scenario is repeated at Sabbath sundown. On & on & on & on it goes. And where it stops, nobody knows. Sorry, the phone is ringing. It’s the Head Elder checking up on me. Bye.

  7. Finn Markley

    An Adventist once told a Jewish Rabbi, “See, we are like you, the Jews. We keep the Sabbath.”

    “Ah, but there’s a difference,” said the wise old Rabbi, “You keep the Sabbath; but we celebrate the Sabbath.”

  8. oldschool

    Many procrastinators do their best study before the exam. Many legal briefs are are well written just before court. Many business reports are finished just before the board meet. Many a floor has its best vacuuming as the edge of the Sabbath approaches. Today’s meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous has been postponed until tomorrow l!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *