LANSING, Mich. — Earlier today, Lansing police removed a large statue of Nebuchadnezzar which had been erected to advertise a Doug Batchelor Amazing Facts Daniel and Revelation event. Lansing Police Department spokesperson Charles Norris said officers took action after local residents complained about a statue by the freeway with “very weak-looking feet made of iron and clay.”
He added that several locals had complained about suffering nightmares of the giant statue crashing to the ground and causing massive destruction. Norris said that the statue had been in place for several days before the decision was made to remove it.
The incident does not seem to have hurt attendance at the Amazing Facts event. Lansing’s Worthington Convention Center was filled to capacity, partly with visitors curious about the now-absent statue.
Batchelor promised those in attendance that he would make his next promotional statue a “little less realistic.”
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The Lansing PD got it all wrong. The statue was cast in an acrylic composite, then painted to resemble the Daniel 2 description. When are those morons gonna get it right?
Also, this statue is anchored to the ground to withstand 150 mph winds. It meets all local zoning regulations. Watch out for the paintball enthusiastics. Neat target! Woe iz me!
Is the Lansing P.D. spokesperson, “Charles Norris,” any relation to the famous martial artist, Chuck Norris? Inquiring minds want to know.
Rumor has it that Batchelor himself stood out there after the statue was removed. Reportedly he painted himself to look like the statute (except the head of gold was bald). Reportedly he captured the attention of drivers by doing his signature back-flip, accompanied by skateboard tricks by David Ascherick. I bet it won’t take long for the police to shut that down, too, because it’s such a distraction to the motorists.
Speaking of Doug Batchelor, I love watching him on 3ABN. I can’t get enough of his show, “The Young and the Hairless.” I also enjoy Danny Shelton’s show, “As the World Burns.” And I surely gotta see Stephen Bohr’s show, “Days of Our Lice.”
Send the statue down here. My brother Raul and I could make good use of it, to make everyone bow down to it — or be cast into a fiery furnace!
Hey Richard, that’s true – the paintball enthusiasts would have a field day. Now they’ll have to turn their sights to the Ronald McDonald statute at the nearby MickyD’s.