Bird trumps Magic’s $550K Oakwood donation with $650K for Indiana Academy

It’s on…

WEST BADEN SPRINGS, Ind. — In a sign that the decades-long rivalry between two basketball greats is far from over, former Celtics star Larry Bird has bested a donation that Earvin “Magic” Johnson Jr. recently made to Oakwood University and church. In response to Johnson’s $550K gift to the Huntsville, Alabama-based school, Bird has donated $650K to Indiana Academy.

Currently team president of the Indiana Pacers, Bird said that his donation was intended to show that he would “never stop competing with Magic, even if it means donating to Seventh-day Adventist schools I have never heard of.”

News of the philanthropic giving from the two NBA legends has spread like wildfire through the Adventist world, with the denomination’s universities, academies, churches and even hospitals lining up to offer the stars the chance to show the other who’s boss.

Special thanks to Bertie Wilberforce Wooster for the story idea


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  1. Debra

    Maybe Larry Bird should take time and go visit Indiana Academy and other Seventh-day Adventists Academy’s to learn of the schools, people, and what they do for kids. Awesome that both donated money to schools

    1. Darryl Scoggins

      You really think Larry Byrd did that? Don’t you know this site is full of crap called satire, which is just an excuse of lying and trying to trick gullible people like you, by publishing false news reports? The webmaster earns advertising revenue from this site, per reader. That’s why he caters to the gullible.

    2. Bertie Wilberforce Wooster

      Note the italicized comment after the story which reads as follows:

      Special thanks to Bertie Wilberforce Wooster for the story idea.

      >>>>story idea<<<<

      1. Billie Dillard

        Note the italicized comment after this comment, which reads: “Special thanks to Donald Plump for the story of the century.”
        >>>> story of the century <<<<

      2. Bernie Silverforce Rooster

        “>>>> story idea <<<< "
        Translation: "pure fiction – fantasy – someone's imagination gone wild – too much time on their hands – wannabe novelist – purveyor of falsehood with a straight face – failed comedian – waste of time"

  2. Vera McDonald

    Why don’t Mitt Romney donate to SDA schools? He’s a multi-millionaire. Why not Donald Trump? He’s a multi-billionaire. He wouldn’t even miss a couple of million.

  3. Leslie Peters

    If the dude has more dough than he knows what to do with, he can send some my way. My address is: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500. My phone number is: (202) 456-1414.

  4. SDA TV Addict

    Hey Mildred, pass me another 3ABN program. I love Danny Shelton’s show, “As the World Burns.” And I can’t get enough of Doug Batchelor’s show, “The Young and the Hairless.” Also gotta see Stephen Bore’s show, “Days of Our Lice.”

    And hey, Mildred, bring in the other satellite TV so I can watch Hope Channel at the same time. . . . like eatin’ with a fork in each hand.

  5. SDA BarelyAdventist Addict

    Hey Mildred, hand me another hilarious comment from Richard Mills. I can’t face another day without a sevvy story and a “woe iz me” comment.

    1. richard mills

      Hey, Addict-You wait in line just like the rest of us lackeys. I work hard all day and all week, except Sabbath hours, to enjoy this site. Now, if you can get a hold of some juicy, succulent vega-burgers with melted cheese, onions, relish, a sour pickle and a glass of ice cold root beer, we’re in business Contact me well after sundown. I must guard its edges, you know!

  6. Salvation by Food

    Ever heard of “salvation by faith”? Actually, it is “salvation by food.” Think of these special Adventist foods:
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Haystacks
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Special-K Loaf
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Little Debbie’s snack cakes
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Postum
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Carob
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Fri-Chik / Veja-Links / Veggie Burgers
    Eat them, and you will surely go to heaven!‍ ‍ Hezekiah 3:16 = “The dude ate the right food, so he shall inherit eternal life. For salvation is by food, through legalism.”

  7. richard mills

    Guess what? The other day, I stopped at my favorite quickie food jointy store to buy my Little Debbies & an ice cold GMO-free, range free, iced tea. The first ingredient on the Little Debbie oatmeal cookie was SUGAR and as bunch of other words I cannot pronounce because I failed 2 chemistry classes in college.. No more Little Debbies for me. I’m gonna stay healthy. Gonna get me some of Amy’s Kitchen organic stuff to snack on! I mean it! Woe iz me!! Really truly, I am! On my Pathfinder Snack Honor.

  8. richard mills

    So, when we go to the 2020 GC at Indianapolis, we can all take a ride up the road to Cicero and see the results of all these millions of bucks floating around. Maybe some of the $$$$$$$$ can go to fix up that ice cream joint across the road. Woe iz me.

  9. Helen Sharmon Dwight

    Hey Darryl,
    Satire/sarcasm, and the ability to get it without being offended is a gift given to those of elevated intelligence. Another is not using one’s real name in the comments section. This place is about having fun at our own expense. I hope whoever runs it gets filthy rich. Just sayin

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