A doctor is born to Adventist parents
Dr. John Lamston has got all the gear… ORLANDO, Fla. — May and Shawn Lamston are the proud parents of a beautiful 3-month-old baby boy and they’ve got big plans. “I knew from the moment Read more […]
29th Fundamental: Vegetarianism no longer optional
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Meat-eating Seventh-day Adventists may soon be a thing of the past. In what analysts describe as a tightening of religious identity, the Adventist Church is contemplating Read more […]
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EXPOSED: Most overused pick-up line in Adventism
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to an international survey of 10,000 single Seventh-day Adventist women over the age of 21, the most overused pick-up line used by single Adventist men is Read more […]
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Adventists named ‘World’s Worst Dancers’
PARIS, France — Seventh-day Adventists have been officially identified as the World’s Worst Dancers. The finding comes as a result of a five-year study by a team of sociologists Read more […]
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Michigan Conference institutes head coverings for women
LANSING, Mich. — In a move that has caused quite the stir among Midwestern Adventists, the Michigan Conference has enforced a new female dress code in churches across the state. Effective Read more […]
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General Conference offices to move to Brazil
In a surprise announcement this morning, the General Conference Communications Department announced that as of this summer all General Conference offices would be moving to Brazil.
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Pesky new people wreak havoc on Sister Helda’s church seating designs
TOPEKA, Kan. — For 39 years Sister Helda Emerson hasn’t missed a single Sabbath at her local church. Even more impressively, she has occupied the same seat every week: the left-hand center Read more […]
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Adventist church cool with gay people as long as they’re not gay about it
CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Affirmed in our Straighthood, the first-ever Adventist conference on alternative sexualities, was held in mid-March this year. It was attended by almost 350 delegates Read more […]
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Glendale Adventist Academy students declare mission trip to Disneyland a rousing success
GLENDALE, Calif. — A team of 50 Glendale Academy students has returned safely from a successful mission trip to Disneyland. The teens emerged from their chartered bus positively radiant Read more […]
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96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer. “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s Read more […]
