Pathfinder Master Guides lead manhunt for NY prison break convicts

UPSTATE NEW YORK — Master Guides from Pathfinder clubs across the United States have descended upon the area surrounding Clinton Correctional Facility, a maximum security prison in Dannemora, Read more […]

General Conference halts talks between Pathfinders and Scouts

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Amid fears of budding ecumenism within their ranks, Adventist world leaders have begun cracking down on various General Conference departments that have engaged in conversations Read more […]

Loma Linda OB/GYN develops scan determining whether unborn babies are Adventist

This one has got ‘General Conference President’ written all over her… LOMA LINDA, Calif. — In an announcement that has led to huge sighs of relief from expecting Adventist parents worldwide, Read more […]

Water supply nearly exhausted at Australia-based iThirst camporee after Super Soaker fight gets out of hand

TOOWOOMBA, Queensland — “We shouldn’t have pushed the water fights in the advertising,” admitted South Pacific Division Youth Director, Victor Harley over the din of an army of supply trucks Read more […]

Adventists named ‘World’s Worst Dancers’

  PARIS, France — Seventh-day Adventists have been officially identified as the World’s Worst Dancers.  The finding comes as a result of a five-year study by a team of sociologists Read more […]