Slide Show: 10 Adventist status symbols
Adventists are called to be sober, humble, meek, all while wearing little to no makeup or jewelry. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own ways of letting you know what’s what or who’s who.
Ted Wilson gets on Twitter
SILVER SPRING, Md. — After years of resisting the temptation to join the social platform, General Conference President Elder Ted Wilson created a Twitter account a week ago. “Happy Sabbath Read more […]
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Adventist Review rebranded as tabloid
TAKOMA PARK, Md. — Faced with sagging readership enthusiasm and massive young adult disinterest, The Adventist Review has decided to rebrand itself as Remember in Prayer (RIP), the first Read more […]
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Portland-based “Keep Adventism Weird” campaign in full swing
PORTLAND, Ore. — Inspired by the wildly-popular “Keep Portland Weird” slogan that has done wonders for the city’s tourism, Portland-based Adventists have decided to promote Adventism’s quirks Read more […]
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Recently engaged youth pastor suffers massive popularity loss
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Within a week of rookie youth pastor Robert Spangler’s engagement to his college girlfriend, his ministry was sent into a tailspin. The first sign that something Read more […]
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TractCannon: Witnessing at the pull of a trigger
Fresh off the monster success of the iWade (Sabbath water wading aid), Weimar-based AdvenTech is beta testing an entirely new product line. Instead of protecting against inappropriate Sabbath Read more […]
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Pastor commits to fitness regime after baptismal bungle
El Paso, Tex. — It all started three months ago when Pastor Dave Bernsten was baptizing Bobby Franklin at Verdugo Grove Adventist Church. Bernsten lowered Franklin into the water perfectly Read more […]
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Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”
“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]
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Church board votes to have more arguments
Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]
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Biblical Research Institute: Carob in violation of 9th Commandment
TAKOMA PARK, Md. — In a landmark ruling for what many are calling the Supreme Court of the Adventist Church, the Biblical Research Institute has ruled that current advertising for carob products Read more […]
