Southern’s entire class of 2015 hired by Little Debbie

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Mere weeks after the 2015 graduation exercises, Southern Adventist University administration has announced that 100 percent of the school’s graduating seniors have found Read more […]

Southern to unveil ‘NoShow’, an interactive Great Disappointment reenactment

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. – As part of the SonRise Resurrection Pageant this Easter weekend, Southern Adventist University announced in an official statement today that they will be unveiling Read more […]

Southern to launch holy kissing campaign

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Ahead of the first day of classes Southern Adventist University has created a new slogan for the 2014-2015 school year: “Holy Kissing.” Students will be encouraged to Read more […]

Southern to introduce electronic tagging for all students

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University Administration has decided to introduce electronic monitoring of all students starting this Fall Semester. Students are asked to report Read more […]

New Union College President recruited to professional softball team

LINCOLN, Neb. — “The timing is a little awkward as I literally just took the job as Union College President,” said Dr. Vinita Sauder, former Vice President for Strategic Initiatives at Southern Read more […]

Southern to send all slackers as student missionaries

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University unveiled bold plans to send all of their confirmed “slacker” students oversees for year-long mission assignments. Lazy students have been Read more […]

Walla Walla University to offer arranged marriages to all single students

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — “After years of intense competition, Walla Walla has dealt Southern a death blow,” read an internal Walla Walla University administration memo that was leaked this morning. For Read more […]

Southern to be renamed Little Debbie University

Collegedale, Tenn. – Ever the innovators in Adventist education, Southern Adventist University administrators have agreed to a complete re-branding of the institution.  Effective immediately, Read more […]