7 Up Named “Most Adventist Soda”
SILVER SPRING, Md. — For the first in its history, the Adventist Church has endorsed a soda. Today, the denomination named 7 Up as the “Most Seventh-day Adventist Soda,” citing not just its Read more […]
Category: Adventist Food
Newly-approved compliance document forces all Adventists to follow same recipe for potluck lasagna
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church’s General Conference Administrative Committee voted on Tuesday, July 17, a potluck veggie lasagna recipe document recommended by the Read more […]
Share this:
Adventists urged to avoid unequally yoked omelets
ADVENTIST WORLD — Leaders of the Adventist Church are warning members of the perils of eating unequally yoked omelets. “Unequally yoked omelets may look fluffy and delicious at first glance Read more […]
Share this:
Report: Adventists “living proof” vegetarians can get fat
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Anyone curious as to whether vegetarians can pile on the pounds over the holidays need look no further than the average Adventist congregation say researchers at Loma Linda Read more […]
Share this:
Thankful Adventists ignore temperance message, pig out
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists across the United States threw caution and any attempt at temperance to the blustery winds this Thanksgiving as they sat down to dinner. Devouring unspeakable Read more […]
Share this:
Adventists forced to sign 14-page compliance document professing love for carob
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventists everywhere have been given 24 hours to sign a 14-page document professing agape love for carob. The document is full of confusing legalese promising “serious Read more […]
Share this:
American Adventists CRUSH Guinness World Record for veggie burgers grilled
SILVER SPRING, Md. — American Adventists have broken the Guinness World Record for veggie burgers grilled and consumed in a day. Real time data on Adventist veggie burger consumption is being Read more […]
Share this:
Loma Linda recommends locusts and honey “John the Baptist Diet”
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Nutritionists at Loma Linda University have unveiled the latest in “biblically-inspired eating for optimal health.” The new diet consists of roasted (not fried) locusts Read more […]
Share this:
Loma Linda promotes food pyramid made up entirely of Big Franks
Loma Linda, Calif. — Nutritionists at Loma Linda University claiming to have discovered the ideal human diet have revealed a new recommended food pyramid. Instead of the pyramid consisting Read more […]
Share this:
GC: Forgetting to pray before meals causes food poisoning
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special warning this afternoon, General Conference officials warned members that neglecting to pray before they eat leads directly to food poisoning. In an email Read more […]
