Tom Brady’s lost Super Bowl jersey found at Adventist thrift store

ATLANTA, Ga. — The cloud of mystery hanging over Tom Brady’s Super Bowl LI jersey lifted today. The jersey which had gone missing soon after the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl turned Read more […]

GC hires house inspectors to check pre-Sabbath cleanliness of Adventist homes

SILVER SPRING, Md. — An army of housekeeping inspectors has been hired by the General Conference. The new inspectors are tasked with manually checking Adventist homes for cleanliness on Friday Read more […]

General Conference demands guarantee of Oscar wins for ‘Hacksaw Ridge’

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has issued a formal demand to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, ordering an advance guarantee of “several Read more […]

Southern closes after dining hall accidentally serves bacon instead of Stripples

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In what administrators admit constitutes an unpardonable sin for an Adventist institution, Southern Adventist University disclosed that bacon strips had been served to students Read more […]