SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has issued a formal demand to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, ordering an advance guarantee of “several Oscars for the best film this year by far, ‘Hacksaw Ridge.'”
The letter issuing the demand on behalf of the film about Adventist conscientious objector Desmond T. Doss says that “because of its subject matter alone this cinematic masterpiece that none of us went to see deserves to win in every category for which it has been nominated.”
GC officials went on to note that they were not at all amused when “Hacksaw Ridge” failed to win any Golden Globes whatsoever.
Although no official written replies have yet been issued by the Academy, Oscars spokesperson Sonne Creidos said that “the mere presumptuousness of this demand proves that these guys are in La La Land.”