LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A critically injured grape was rushed to Loma Linda University Medical Center this afternoon after a terrible fall from a local kitchen counter. Already dangerously close Read more […]
Columbia, Md. — The North American Division has banned anyone from entering its headquarters wearing a beard. The official update to the building dress code was announced today. The rationale Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to more accurately describe the yearly October meetings of the General Conference Executive Committee, senior church leaders have chosen to rebrand Annual Council Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a statement released this morning, the General Conference has banned religious liberty among church employees and has strongly discouraged “dangerous exercise of personal Read more […]
SILICON VALLEY, Calif. — Ever on the forefront of innovation, Adventist churches in Silicon Valley are beta testing 100% cashless offerings as of next Sabbath. Offering baskets will still Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventist Liberal Max Chellin has spent much of today in full-on productivity mode, mouthing off in all caps online about the extreme narrow-mindedness of conservatives Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist leaders have written a stern letter to major American theater chains demanding that they dramatically increase the “quantity and quality of theater lobby angel Read more […]
NAMPA, Idaho — “Rats,” “shucks,” “poop,” “fiddlesticks, “phooey,” and “son of a Baptist preacher” are just a sampling of the 144,000 church potluck-friendly expletives published in a comprehensive Read more […]
March is winding down, and you know what that means. Everyone is turning to their brackets to see how they’re faring as we draw closer to the championship. Of course, I’m talking about the Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — GC administrators have organized the Wakanda Union Conference in a record-breaking 24-hour flurry of bureaucratic activity. The decision to create the new union happened Read more […]
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