The Real Audiovisual Guys of Campmeeting coming to 3ABN this fall!

WEST FRANKFORT, Ill.- 3ABN is introducing a new 12 episode reality series this fall, The Real Audiovisual Guys of Campmeeting. The network has confirmed that the series began filming in early Read more […]

3ABN to feature on Fox News after Bill O’Reilly departure

NEW YORK, N.Y. — Fox News has been on the hunt for new programming following the departure of its most famous anchor, Bill O’Reilly. Although Fox host Tucker Carlson will be taking O’Reilly’s Read more […]

Official Ellen White book color switched from red to green on St. Patrick’s Day

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Ellen G. White Estate has changed the officially sanctioned color of Ellen White book covers from red to green in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. In a statement explaining Read more […]

Lane converts Rory to Adventism in next Gilmore Girls reboot

STARS HOLLOW, Conn. — It looks like Gilmore Girls character Lane Kim’s super strict Adventist upbringing is kicking in after all. After this year’s successful reboot of the show in Gilmore Read more […]

GC Clown Ministries shut down to avoid appearance of evil

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Several decades of active clown ministry at the General Conference ground to a somber halt today. Ronald Donald, spokesperson for the GC Clown Outreach Department, said Read more […]

“Ghostbusters” producers sue Adventist Church for ghost-denying State of the Dead doctrine

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Producers of the new Columbia Pictures cinematic release Ghostbusters have filed a lawsuit against the Seventh-day Adventist Church claiming that it promotes doctrines Read more […]

GC allows Adventists to see ‘nature video’ Finding Dory in theaters

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special dispensation for fans desperate to see Pixar’s new release, Finding Dory, General Conference officials have opted to allow Seventh-day Adventists to see the Read more […]

GC: “I will survive” disco anthem contradicts state of the dead

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventists around the world have been advised by General Conference leaders that the popular disco anthem “I Will Survive” contradicts church teachings regarding Read more […]

Adventist Church: You can’t pray for Game of Thrones characters

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have released a statement reminding church members that praying for Game of Thrones characters is “a completely fruitless exercise.” General Read more […]