ST. GEORGE, Utah — “There’s good news and there’s bad news,” announced James Tuber, organizer of the International Conference on the Bible and Science which is hosting Adventist professors, scientists and administrators from around the world in St. George, Utah this week.
“The bad news is that those of you currently teaching in science departments at our schools are out of a job,” said Tuber. “The good news is that you are each entitled to free Masters of Divinity studies at the Adventist seminary of your choice.”
Tuber added that upon completion of this “further education” the former faculty members would be allowed to re-apply for their teaching positions.
Analysts commenting on the announcement point to recent controversy regarding the teaching of Creationism versus Evolution as the genesis of the upheaval. While science departments at Adventist schools uniformly support biblical teaching of a Creator God, discussion at several schools has focused on whether or not God created the earth in six literal days. Adventist academics that have suggested alternate interpretations of the Genesis creation account have come under heavy fire.
Conference attendees were assured that while Adventist science professors were exiled at seminary, “trained pastors will be stepping in to save the day bringing real leadership and theological training to the study of science.”
Are you absolutely sure these SDA Pastors believe in Creation? Check ’em out carefully!
is this for real?
Hi Bekki O, No this is not real as far as actual terminations of teachers nor is any such thing going to be headed up by Ted Wilson or the General Conference. However, I would like to make a comment that because this is a very serious matter in the SDA fellowship along with the ordination of a woman as pastor or changing opinions of homosexuality within Churches in the US and internationally I find none of this humorous. As a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Movement even the humor about Pastor Doug Bachelor heading for Dancing With the Stars without humor. Right now there is abundant decent within many of the Churches and Unions and I have a request for all of those that found our foundation’s guidelines acceptable when the movement was joined and now want to alter what God has raised up as His Remnant Leaders and a blessed movement into a weak and diluted movement headed for denominational separatism being no more effective than the world loving protestant movement of today’s members who are haughty, boastful, self serving and now endorsing unity at the cost of God’s truth. My comment is really basic and is actually combined with a request. My comment is I think if your minds and hearts have changed and your opinions are more like the worlds what reason would you have to stay and not form your own movement that suits your liking? My second comment, likens to the first except unlike the first I respectfully am asking you to resign your membership and take your changes and new doctrine elsewhere, I don’t care where, and stop receiving and accepting SDA tithes and gifts to support what clearly is not of the SDA origin. Oh, as far as Professors and courses on SDA campuses that teach evolution theory, the changing of time and God’s law, you should all be terminated and don’t be concerned about replacing the class heads, just terminate the classes. Oh, one more thing again. Pastor Doug can do forward flips however when he has done them it was simply to show the SDA diet suggestions would appear to increase ones health and ability to do things as a man over 50 and close to 60 normally cannot do. I happen to be a member of Sac Central and still believe our Lord raised up faithful people to spread the gospel as intended, educate and enlist those that will join in the Lords Great Commission to increase the number accepting salvation before probation is closed and the end comes. My friends, even those of you that have fallen away from what God has raised up, time is so short. Please get back on track and if not, please get out. If you are comfortable in becoming a new way in your own way get out of my way. So Bekki, I am in hopes that has answered your question. Although this site was designed as to be understood as humorous, will there also be jokes about Christ’s almost starting the end of sacrifices late? Or maybe Jesus Dancing with the Stars? With love, Brother Tim Horton.
Barely Adventist = “The Satanic Verses of Adventism?” LOL!
The satire does sound like the writers are really ex- Adventists poking fun Adventism. As an ex Adventist myself I stopped my subscription because while I longer believe in it, I didn’t really feel comfortable spending too much time reading satire that makes fun of it. But that’s me. The stuff is undoubtedly hilarious, nevertheless, and good for a laugh once in a while.