Ted Wilson resolves to smile more in 2019

Smiling is serious business...
Wilson has attacked his smiling challenge with a steely resolve…

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In his first press conference for 2019, Ted Wilson, president of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, was asked about his New Year’s resolutions. Surprising reporters who expected to hear an answer related to church growth or policy reform, a serious Wilson answered “smile more.”

Wilson said that he had made the New Year’s resolution following “consistent concern from Seventh-day Adventist brothers and sisters around the world who keep asking me if I’m OK.”

Showing characteristic determination, Wilson made a fist and said that he had never felt better and that nothing was going to stop him from smiling more over the next 12 months.

“My family and friends know I have a nice smile.  I just have to stop hiding it under a bushel and let it shine,” said Wilson unsmilingly. “Plus, anything I can do to deny BarelyAdventist story material, I will gladly do.”



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  1. Richard Mills

    May I suggest that Teddy go back to that good old JMV songbook, “Singing Youth”. Go to hymn number #183 and sing it with gusto, bravado, etc. Let’ all stand up and sing all four verses. Guaranteed or your money back! Good New Year’s resolution for all of us. Woe iz me!!

    1. Jack Frost

      BREAKING NEWS! Pastor Ted Wilson, current president of the General Conference, is suffering a midlife crisis and feels guilty about railroading the delegates on the ordination issue in San Antonio. In fact, he announced today that he has lost faith in the SDA Church organization and will be asking his local Maryland congregation to drop his membership from the rolls, effective immediately. He plans to convert to Catholicism, at the local parish where he has been sneaking into Sunday Mass for the past 5 years.

      LATE BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Ben Carson announced today that he has been asked to assume the presidency of the General Conference to fill the post being vacated by Ted Wilson. In view of the emergency, Dr. Carson is suspending his political campaign in order to accept the call from the GC executive committee.

  2. Harry Trooman

    Pres. Ted Wilson actually did smile once. It was when GC Secretary Ng introduced his for the Sabbath sermon at the San Antonio GC. Ng has an unrestrained sense of humor, and something he said in the introduction actually got a smile out of Wilson – believe it or not! Truth is stranger than fiction.

  3. Hansen

    There is a time to be serious. Sometimes hospital chaplains run into situations that require grave contemplation and wisdom. This is a true story.

    I walked into a room one day in 1992 at a Jewish hospital. The patient looked like hell. After some minor chit chat, he blurted out, “I abandoned my wife and children to the Nazis and saved my own life.” What do you say to a dying man who just admitted something so tragic?

    After figuratively picking myself up off the floor, I suggested he discuss it with the hospital chaplain, a lovely rabbi with whom I had taken some Torah studies. The rabbi appeared within a few minutes. I left the room so he could discuss the matter in private. I have no idea what he said. When the rabbi finally came out, he glanced at me and said, “That was a good referral.”

  4. max

    “Martin Luther, Adolf Hitler, and the Seventh-day Adventists
    The rise of the Third Reich is a fascinating and intriguing tale of the politicization of Christianity gone wrong. In 1933, in the midst of controversy, bullying and chaos, the Nazi Party came into power with Adolf Hitler as head. It was the beginning of what would be one the most horrifying eras in history, with the loss of life totaling millions and a war that affected the whole world.
    In the midst of their rise to power and prominence, anti-Semitic propaganda was used to propel the Nazi Machine into prominence. Anti-Semitism had existed in Europe, more specifically in Germany, for centuries. It had flourished since the arrival of Christianity in the German landscape. It has flowered and shrunk during most of German history. However it seems to have found its full manifestation when the National Socialists, theNazy Party, came into governance. Anti-Semitic feelings began to flower when Germany was still reeling from the effects of defeat during the First World War; the industrial age, the war and its impact on blue collar workers created conditions of poverty and shortages moving the nation to find someone to blame..
    The party presented itself as the problem solver to Germany’s battered economic state. Part of their solution was to deal with the “Jewish Problem”.[2] Among the many components that brought about the rise of the Nazi Party were the writings and theology of Martin Luther – a key figure in the history of Germany and well known Protestant Reformer. The influence of Luther’s anti-Semitic works was used to bring about the unification of the Church and the Nazi empire. Many Christians and the official branch of the Seventh-day Adventist Church got sucked into the Nazi
    Machine and its agenda. In the end, The writings of Luther nurtured and predisposed an uncaring Christian attitude toward the Jewish community and empowered the Nazis to act as they did.
    Anti-Semitism has been defined as a hostile attitude towards Jews [regarded as a threat] that develops into a tradition and becomes institutionalized.[3] One author regards it as a purely Christian phenomenon,[4]which would fit with the growth and development of anti-Semitism in predominantly Christian nations in Europe throughout the early and middle ages. The origins of Christian anti-Semitism stems from the crucifixion of Christ. Jews were charged with deicide from an early point in Christian history. [5] It is exemplified by Christ being brought before Pilate, who tried to release him, but the Jewish crowd, on the other hand ,insisting on his being killed [Matthew 27.11 – 25].
    hristian anti-Semitism continued to simmer during the years of the Church fathers.[6] Throughout the middle ages in Europe, it adapted to the theology and governance of the Church. Several Jewish pogroms took place in the Iberian Peninsula in Cordoba [1011] and Grenada [1056] in predominantly Catholic Spain.[7] In the 11th century, England allowed Jews to enter in the country, but they were banned again in 1290 until Lord Cromwell influenced the execution of Charles I in 1649.[8] When the black plague ravaged Europe in the mid-14th century, Jews were used as a scapegoat and also blamed for deliberately poisoning wells; this resulted in 900 Jews being killed in Strasbourg, France – a city that had no symptom of the plague, against the order or Pope Clement VI.[9] In Spain, 1492, their Majesties Ferdinand and Isabella expelled some 200,000 Jews from the Iberian Peninsula.[10]
    Only a generation after the Spaniards expulsed the Jews from the Iberian peninsula, Germany became the forerunner of the Protestant Reformation that took on the Holy Roman Empire in Central Europe. It began in 1517 when Albert Bishop of Mainz got Friar Johann Tetzel to start selling indulgencies to raise money for building the new St. Peters Cathedral in Rome. With time, word came to Martin Luther, an Augustinian Friar who was a professor at the University of Wittenberg. He had come to the conclusion that no amount of virtue or good behavior could be the basis of salvation. The selling of indulgencies presented him with an excellent opportunity to take the bold step of presenting his new found faith and belief. Soon he nailed his 95 theses on the church door, and which eventually led to the Reformation in Europe.[11] This brought Luther’s name into renown.
    Martin Luther
    In the midst of this debate Luther, who wasn’t always an anti-Semite, appeared; if anything, Luther defended the Jews. In a letter written by Luther to Rev. George Spalatin in 1514, he highlights his belief in the conversion of Jews being something only God could bring about; he also went on to mention that they should be left alone.[13] However with The passage of time, the Jewish issue became more prominent, and Luther, who had very little contacts with German Jews, got drawn into the conflict. He challenged the Justinian doctrine ‘Servitude of the Jews’ saying ‘absurd theologians defend hatred for the Jews’ in 1519.[14] In 1923, he wrote the essay ‘That Jesus Christ was born a Jew’ where he urged Christians to treat Jews kindly, shunning any mistreatment toward them. He wrote:
    If I had been a Jew and had seen such dolts and blockheads govern and teach the Christian faith, I would sooner have become a hog than a Christian. They have dealt with the Jews as if they were dogs rather than human beings; they have done little else than deride them and seize their property. When they baptize them they show them nothing of Christian doctrine or life, but only subject them to popishness and monkery…If the apostles, who also were Jews, had dealt with us Gentiles as we Gentiles deal with the Jews, there would never have been a Christian among the Gentiles … If we really want to help them, we must be guided in our dealings with them not by papal law but by the law of
    Christian love. We must receive them cordially, and permit them to trade and work with us, that they may have occasion and opportunity to associate with us, hear our Christian teaching, and witness our Christian life. If some of them should prove stiff-necked, what of it? After all, we ourselves are not all good Christians either.
    His aim in reaching out to Judaism was to break away from the image that many Christians in his generation had of Jews; he also hoped the Jews would join his Christian movement. The reformation helped him by dissociating his movement from the Catholic Church, and all the anti-Jewish attitudes that had crept into Christianity. Throughout Europe, his writings were well accepted among the confessed Jews and the Marranos[secret Jews]. His Lutheran movement gained prominence among many Jews because it appeared that his teachings would benefit the Jews and other people. Spanish and French intellectuals who also supported the Jewish rights welcomed his essays. [16]
    However in the later part of his life Luther became increasingly frustrated when he couldn’t win over as many Jews as he had hoped. This frustration pushed and shaped his rhetoric so that in time his writings turned anti-Semitic. [17] His latter works include two treatises one of them being ‘On Jews and their lies’ and and the other ‘of the unknowable name and the names of Christ’ [1543]. In ‘On Jews and their lies’, Luther took some radical stances with regard to dealing with the Jewish menace in German society. It included: burning Jewish synagogues with fire and sulfur; burning private homes; dispossessing their holy writ; not allowing them to attend divine service or any religious instruction by their rabbis; not uttering God’s name; forbidding them from working as merchants or moving freely in public; banning usury and depriving them of money and valuables; and expelling young Jews to hard labor. [18] A few years after the publication of his anti-Jewish works, Luther died. The influenced of these two works renewed bans and expulsions of Jews in the state of Germany. However, no German leader carried out Luther’s policies against the Jews until the twentieth century and the birth of the Nazi era.[19]
    The Third Reich, Luther, and the Adventists
    The Nazi era will be remembered as a regime that brought about the death millions of people. They included the Romani people, the handicapped, soviet prisoners of war, homosexuals, Polish and Soviet civilians, political opponents, religious dissenters et cetera. The total number of those killed was about 11 – 17 million[20]. Out of this, totaling 6 million was the highest percentage of a people – the Jews. Ironically, in the midst of the killing and segregation that was taking place, 95 percent of Germans claimed to be baptized Christians.[21] Luther’s anti-Semitism was used to politicize anti-Semitism, using its theology to gain Christian support.
    Luther’s writings permeated German society when the Nazi came to power. These anti Semitic feelings were expertly used by the Nazi Propaganda Machine to garner the support of predominantly blue collar workers in Germany who felt that the government had let them down. They believed that their hardship in part were fostered and made possible by policies that favored the Jews. The Nazi party used these feeling of hatred to draw closer to the working class and achieve reconciliation between their party and the people. In a essence, their rhetoric was geared toward getting rid of the Jews so that there would be ‘no labor issues’ or ‘unfair competition’.[22] The voters were attracted to these features which led to the election of the Nazi in 1933. [23] Just as the middle ages and during the Reformation, the Jews were used as a scapegoat but this time with far reaching consequences.
    Even before the Nazi Party came to power Seventh-day Adventist were already expressing anti-Semitic feelings in their publications. Since Adventists worked among the working class in several of the large cities of Germany, and had an extensive social welfare network in Germany, they frequently came in contact with German Jews. Their publications reflected the anti Semitic ideology that permeated German Society. And many of the leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church sympathized and were supportive of Anti-Semitic sentiments.
    The Nazis like the Seventh-day Adventists had a high regard for Luther; Hitler thought of him as a great historical protagonist whom he admired. His renown and theology was referred to in several instances: Dr. E. H. Schulz and Dr. R. Frercks [writers of the Aryan Law] to justify Nazi racial legislation to reduce the influence of Jews in the profession; Julius Streicher, publisher of Der Sturmer [The Stormer or The Attacker] saying everything written in the magazine on the subject of the jews was prefigured by Martin Luther. Such was the propaganda that carried the Nazi regime into totalitarian control of Germany. Within the church, Nazi Bishop Martin Sasseof Thuringia, hailed Luther as ‘the greatest anti-Semite of his time.’
    New Christianity, 100% Aryan
    The support for the Nazi party in Germany within the Christian faith was so intense that the cross was replaced in churches with swastikas.[27] Much this support came to fruition with the help of church leaders taught in the main German seminaries [Erlangen, Gottingen and Tubingen]. In these schools, distinguished professors such as Paul Althaus, Emmanuel Hirsch and Gerhard Kittel believed the Jews were a menace to Western Society. Althaus, heralded the ascendancy of the National Socialists as ‘a gift and miracle of God’ which stemmed from Luther’s theology.[28] This Christian support for the Nazi party was part what was called Positive Christianity, a model of C hristianity consistent with Nazism.
    The official Adventist Church, since there was also a Reformed Adventist Church that opposed the Nazi Party in those years, readily went along with the policies of the Nazi regime and went out of their way to comply with the wishes of the party. The official organ of the Church, Gegenwarts-Frage, for example, supported the extermination of the Roma People, Homosexuals, Jews and people with physical infermities.[29] Another example is the removal of words from their Services and culture that could be associated with Jews. The term Sabbath School was replaced by the term Bible School and the word Sabbath was replaces by Rest Day.[30] Adventist were especially dilegent in associating with what the Party term positive Christianity, which basically meant a Christianity approved by the Nazies.
    The cross with the swastika in the background symbolizing a higher supremacy
    In brief, Positive Christianity rejected the Old Testament; they insisted on the Aryanhood of Jesus Christ, arguing Nordic descendancy; they had a goal of furthering the political objective of national unity, to overcome confessional differences and unite Catholicism and Protestantism to a single unitary Christian national church.[31] Some Positive Christians went as far as believing Hitler coming through the lineage of Christ.[32] Apart from Higher Criticism, Lutheran theology contributed to the rise of Positive Christianity.
    Ronald Burger noted that Luther is credited with “Germanizing the Christian critique of Judaism and establishing anti-Semitism as a key element of German culture and national identity.[33] Paul Rose argues that his writings caused a ‘hysterical and demonizing mentality’ about Jews in German thought and discourse, a mentality that might otherwise have been absent.[34]
    To some German Christians Hitler became the source of divine providence in dealing with the Jews; Hitler himself believed it to be the case. In an interview with Wilhelm Berning of Osnabruck in regard to the Jews on April 26th 1933, Hitler is quoted, saying:
    “I have been attacked because of my handling of the Jewish question. The Catholic Church considered the Jews pestilent for fifteen hundred years, put them in ghettos, etc., because it recognized the Jews for what they were. In the epoch of liberalism the danger was no longer recognized. I am
    moving back toward the time in which a fifteen-hundred-year-long tradition was implemented. I do not set race over religion, but I recognize the representatives of this race as pestilent for the state and for the Church, and perhaps I am thereby doing Christianity a great service by pushing them out of schools and public functions.”[3
    This was the beginning of the regime’s tightened grip against the Jews, draining them of any voice or personhood. Among actions taken against the Jews by them include: the burning of synagogues, destruction of houses, seizure of prayer books, forbidding of religious teaching, prevention of travel within the Third Reich, confiscation of wealth, menial work being set for them, their being sidelined from the German non-Jewish society et cetera. The Nazis became the first to fully put into practice the what Luther had suggested towards the end of his life; the regime however took it to the extreme, citing Luther’s suggestions as too soft. [
    In 1933, Gerhard Kittel, a well know German Protestant Theologian joined the Nazi Party. His open support of the regime saddened fellow theologians. In a letter written to him dated November 30th 1933, Herbert M. J. Loewe wrote:

    No one in England, Jew or Christian, troubles about the views of Nazi professors who have given themselves to Hitler and sinned against the light. It is just not worthwhile. . . But about you we are troubled and grieved because we reckoned you to be on the side of the angels.
    Kittel, in contrast, reckoned he was on the side of the angels. His stance wasn’t on the leftist side of the Nazis, in a testimony given in his behalf during his trial by a Christian Jew who wanted his help to save his father. It was written: Professor Kittel raised the sharpest objections against the actions which were being directed against Jews, and as a Christian he protested against any justification of these dealings. During our conversation it became quite clear that the basis for Professor Kittel’s considerations on the
    Jewish question was not built upon the racial theories of National Socialism but upon his theology.
    Millions of other Christians, and many Seventh-day Adventists, in Nazi Germany had a theology that was anti-Jewish like Kittel. It’s uncertain how many fully supported the extremist views of the Nazi Party; many however did. The fall back to their supporting the Nazis was theologically influenced, as established in Kittel, Hirsh and Althaus’ case. Luther’s anti-Semitic writings had a large part to play in this. Without them, the MeinKampf, Der Sturmer and the Aryan Laws used by the Nazis would have lacked theological bias for acting the way they did. Luther’s writings contributed to the unification of the Church and the Nazi empire. “

  5. max

    10 Cursed the man who goes about the Lord’s work grudgingly, nor with blood stains his sword!

    6 We made an end of them, as we had made an end of Sehon, that reigned in Hesebon, destroying all the inhabitants of their cities, men, women and children,

  6. max

    12 the night on which I will pass through the land of Egypt, and smite every first-born thing in the land of Egypt, man and beast alike; so I will give sentence on all the powers of Egypt,[3] I, the Lord.

    17 All the males must be killed, even the children,

    6 We made an end of them, as we had made an end of Sehon, that reigned in Hesebon, destroying all the inhabitants of their cities, men, women and children

    9 blessed be the man who will catch up thy children, and dash them against the rocks!

  7. max

    16 But in the cities that are to be thy own, no living thing must be left.

    17 All of them must be put to the sword, Hethite and Amorrhite and Chanaanite and Pherezite and Hevite and Jebusite, as the Lord thy God has bidden thee;

    18 or they will teach your race to perform such detestable worship as they perform in honour of their own gods, and be false to the Lord.

  8. max

    26 So he stood there at the gate of the camp, and said, Rally to my side, all that will take the Lord’s part. Then the whole tribe of Levi gathered round them,

    27 and he said, A message to you from the Lord God of Israel. Gird on your swords, and pass to and fro through the middle of the camp, from gate to gate, killing your own brothers, your own friends, your own neighbours.

    28 So the sons of Levi did as Moses bade them, and that day some twenty-three thousand men fell slain.

    29 To-day, said Moses, at war with your own flesh and blood, you have dedicated your hands to the Lord’s service, and earned his blessing.[2]

  9. max

    26 If any man comes to me, without hating his father and mother and wife and children and brethren and sisters, yes, and his own life too, he can be no disciple of mine.

  10. max

    “Hector Avalos and the Holocaust in the Bible and today: Israel, Inquisition, Luther, Hiter and what the Bible Says”
    “Hector Avalos (Iowa State University)
    Dr. Hector Avalos (Iowa State University) has issued a call for Biblical scholarship to forsake the main apologetic strategy of the last two thousand years of Jewish and Christian biblical interpretation and stop justifying the genocidal episodes found within
    scripture. While I have been arguing this for years, it is time that I restate my arguments in previously published books (Battered and Bruised: All the Women of the Old Testamentand Moses: the Making of Myth and Law among others). Both the Old Testament, and the New Testament (especially Revelation) are little more than the glorification of violence from the fratricide in Genesis to the Final Battle in the Apocalypse, with the battering of the Jesus in the New Testament taken from the torture stories in the ancient world. The Bible is nothing more and nothing less than a story of genocide and hate, from its first tale of Eve debating the Great Advocate (the snake who not only was a teacher but the symbol of wisdom but the actual owner of the Tree of Knowledge, coming from the Egyptian Nehebkau (“he who harnesses the souls”) a the two-headed serpent deity who guarded the entrance to the underworld, was associated with fertility and rebirth and became an emblem used in gnosticism to exemplify Sophia, and worshipped throughout the Middle East from Akkadia to Babylon and beyond; John Bathurst Deane, John Bathurst (1833). The Worship of the Serpent, London, UK: J. G. & F. Rivington) to the final whimper of the forces of Gog and Magog. Tragically, these tales are much more than figurative, rhetorical, or formulaic discussions or tales, but are recounts of hate and violence.”

  11. Joe

    I might say “EASY, MAX” – The resolution to smile more reminds me of my resolution this last New Years to have sex 52 times this next year – My wife said “Put me down for 12” – JFJ

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