Literalist Men’s Retreat Ends With Everyone’s Eyes Plucked Out

Poor vision…

The “Blind Faith” Men’s Retreat ended today with an entirely eye-less crowd of men trying to find their way out of an auditorium.

Speakers at the retreat had advocated a stridently literal approach to Bible reading, discouraging any attempt to detect genre and intent.

The self-assured crowd roared with approval as they read New Testament teachings on the role and place of women at home and at church.

Their enthusiasm waned slightly after reading Jesus’ direction to pluck out your eye if it causes you to sin. But as they were on a roll, each of the men turned to a friend and did the honors.


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