Larger foliage to cover all Adventist Adam & Eve art

still not enough foliage...
still not enough foliage…

SILVER SPRING, Md. — A 12-month effort to overhaul Adventist Adam and Eve art begins this week due to what church leaders are calling “pervasive foliage insufficiency.” In addition to far stricter artistic guidance for future representations of pre-Fall Adam and Eve, all existing art that is displayed on Adventist screens, online or in printed material, will be modified.

“Simply put, there is way too much skin in Garden of Eden art,” said General Conference Director of Reversals, Drew Barrister. “We have instructed our highly talented and international team of artists to drastically increase the size and abundance of garden foliage to enhance the modesty of our Adam and Eve art.”

Barrister also mentioned that in meadow scenes where large leaves won’t work, Adam and Eve will be barely visible due to “entire prides of friendly Simba-style lions and flapping, big-winged parrots.”

“Ironically our stock imagery means that we are flashing steamy illustrations to depict life without sin,” states a GC memo circulated to ministerial staff worldwide. “This is simply unacceptable and we will be relentless in the effort to beef up foliage and wildlife density in Adventist art internationally.”


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  1. Richard Mills

    Could this method be also used in real life on real SDA women that flaunt their bodies in church, camp meetings, committees, on the job, etc.? Whatever happened to dress reform once practiced by SDA’s? Woe is me!!

  2. A. Nonymous

    Ellen White’s dress reforms were more about loosening corsets that were screwing up breathing and blood flow, and raising the hem of dresses so they didn’t drag on the ground gathering dirt and bacteria.

    I’m not saying she’d be down with mini-skirts in church, but the rationale behind her clothing reforms was to make women functional, comfortable, clean, and healthy, not to “cover their shame” or something of the like.

  3. Laurence

    Does anyone remember when sleeveless dresses and blouses were prohibited in SDA schools and colleges? (probably still are ! )

    I could never understand how the DIRTY MINDS of the rule writers got turned on and sexually aroused by unshaven or shaved armpits, so much that they found it necessary to not see them. Just a bunch of dirty-minded sicko’s.

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