SILVER SPRING, Md. — High heels are a thing of the past as far as the Seventh-day Adventist Church is concerned.
In a memo released this morning, church leaders banned heels in church for preventing Adventists from “walking softly in the sanctuary.”
Adventist Reverence Bureau Chief Solo Ameng said the solution to clicking heels cannot be the laying of ever-thicker carpet to muffle the noise.
“Heels are a reverence-buster that we have to tackle head-on,” said Ameng.
“Not only do they click loudly in the sanctuary in clear violation of the Pathfinder Law, but I also hear from my wife that they make it near impossible to go on God’s errands.”
Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.
I’M OK WITH HEELS, AS LONG AS NO MEN PUT THEM ON.
I knew this weirdo who was a real heel.