Forbes rates Walla Walla most expensive way to get married in America



NEW YORK, N.Y. — In Forbes Magazine’s annual review of American wedding costs, a four-year-or-more education at Walla Walla University has been rated as the most expensive way to get married in the United States.

“While it isn’t the most expensive college education in the United States and not even the priciest Seventh-day Adventist college education, what sets Walla Walla apart is that the expected outcome is first and foremost marriage,” said Forbes researcher, Yokem Good.

“No one says much about GPA when a kid comes home from Walla Walla. But you better believe your parents want to hear how your last banquet went. That’s how you know that college tuition is seen as a wedding expense,” said Good. “Dropping over a hundred grand on a wedding before you have sent out an invite is a pricey way to go by pretty much anyone’s standards.”

Good said that Forbes findings at Walla Walla led to ongoing research into Seventh-day Adventists spending patterns. While they are normally “a penny pinching bunch”, Good says that this frugality does not extend to their approach to setting their kids up for marriage.

“What’s ironic is that, after spending way over a hundred grand finding a mate for your kid, Adventists then throw wedding receptions potluck style in decidedly unadorned church fellowships hall and serve genuinely unclassy, bulk-bought Martinelli’s of whatever flavor was on sale,” said Good.



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  1. Tonette

    The author must not have attended many Adventist weddings. My reception, like many that I have attended, was at a banquet hall, catered, and classy. Because we don’t drink alcohol, we do use Martinelli’s or other sparkling ciders. Of the hundreds of Adventist weddings I’ve attended, I don’t remember any that were potluck. And it’s not unusual for students to hope to find a mate while in college. It happens all over America.

  2. Richard Mills

    You know what one of the Three Stooges (Curly) once said? “Here’s a walla. There’s a walla. WALLAWALLA!! Yuk, Yuk, Yuk!!” I might have had a better chance at Loma Linda. Many of those medical students become MD’d and get rich. Wish I were young once more!! Woe is me!!

  3. Jack O. Lantern

    This cannot be an Adventist (or even “barely Adventist”) publication, because it shows wedding rings in the picture. Since when are Adventists allowed to publicly show their commitment to their spouse? Last I heard, they have to keep everybody wondering if they’re single. Which candidate does NOT wear any jewelry of any kind? (Hint: it’s NOT Ben Carson.)

    Donald Dump
    Kris Kristy
    Jeb Butch
    Mark O. Ruby-o
    Ben Carsinogen
    Carly Flouride
    John KaySnitch
    Bobby Gin-Doll
    Hilarious Clinton
    Bernie Colonel Sanders
    Jim Kill-more
    Rick Stinktorum
    George Plasticky
    Rand Pallbearer
    Mike Huckleberry
    Ted Cruise-control
    Donald Trumpet
    Sum Ting Wong

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