COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has issued a recall of all unmarried graduates of the school. Anyone in possession of a Walla Walla graduation diploma is entitled to free tuition at the school until they are also in possession of a marriage certificate or at least a promise ring.
“I’m honestly baffled at how anyone graduates from here without a wedding date at least penciled into their calendar,” said campus romance facilitator, Beau Hitch. “They must have really made an effort not to get married after everything we’ve tried over the years.”
Hitch said that for the recall to work, re-enrolled graduates were being encouraged to pursue majors historically prone to intermarriage, like Theology and Nursing.