NEW YORK, N.Y. — In an early morning ceremony today, United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon formally thanked the Seventh-day Adventist Church for promoting health worldwide through “amazing breakfast cereals.”
Ban presented a bronzed cereal box to Ted Wilson, president of the General Conference of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, before the two enjoyed a breakfast of Kellogg’s cornflakes.
The Secretary-General said that because of the church’s involvement in the beginnings of the Kellogg company, as well at its current ownership of prominent cereal brands like Australia’s Weetabix and Argentine Granix, the Adventist Church had “championed a breakfast for champions.”
Wilson thanked Ban for honoring the Adventist Church and in return presented the Secretary General with a Little Debbie snack cake for dessert.
Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.
“Wilson … presented the Secretary General with a Little Debbie snack cake for dessert.” And did Eld. Wilson tell Ban that Little Debbie junk food is a shining example of the Health Message?
I would roll over in my grave if he said that.
What? No mention of Sun Belt Cereals, the non-Little Debbie Branch of McKee Foods? The granolas by Sun Belt are really good, and WAY lower in sugar than Little Debbies. Here’s the link.
McKee Foods also makes some very tasty Granola Bars under the Sun Belt brand.
Little Debbie is smiling:)
A recent study compared the health of rats who eat breakfast cereal, to rats who eat the cardboard boxes in which the cereal is packed. The rats eating the cardboard were much healthier. In fact, there is enough sodium and sugar in one adult serving of breakfast cereal to kill a mouse.
The wisdom of the Paleo diet is to avoid too much grains. Breakfast cereals and bread are the biggest offenders. Such offenders should be locked up, and the Sheriff should throw away the key.
Sounds like you’re talking about Killary. But some people are simply above the law.
The story says they enjoyed a breakfast of Kellogg’s cornflakes together. Did Ban teach Ted how to eat cereal with chopsticks?
Most of these “news stories” are silly parodies. Finally BarelyAdventist publishes something that’s true!
Sevvy is a tremendous writer with a yuge talent. I hope Hellary doesn’t hire him to write excuses for her. She already makes too many.
I eat corn flakes every morning, and look where it got me. . . .
Are you still on the board for Kellogg’s?
My favorite cereal is homemade granola. A little old lady sells it in the back of our sanctuary every Sabbath, as a service to the health-conscious parishioners.
Cereal is okay, but I usually eat it for a midnight snack. I generally eat a quart of ice cream for breakfast.
Sevvy is going paparazzi on us, or maybe he’s just getting really good with PhotoShop. The picture is cool. It would look even better if it showed their hands jointly holding the corn flakes box. OK, sevvy, I’ve laid down the gauntlet!
Yeah, and I dare him to show a wedding ring on Ted Wilson’s hand.
New story idea for BarelyAdventist: “Ted Wilson Spotted Wearing Wedding Ring in Public; Submits Immediate Resignation from G.C.”
I would be shocked if he wore one.
Actually, the Australian/New Zealand food brand is “Weet-bix”, NOT “Weetabix”. Sanitarium Foods accounts for over 28% of the breakfast foods market in the two countries. No joke! Bigger than Kellog, pretty much.
The “Weetabix” brand is the British version of the now defunct “Ruskets” cereal from Loma Linda Foods.
Even with the ‘branding’ error, the story is still funny! Good work, Sevvy!
I just found out that Hillary eats Weet-bix, the breakfast of undefeatable Australian Adventist champions. That is why they are untouchable, unbeatable, and way above the law. Today Director Comey admitted to the Congressional committee that Hillary lied repeatedly to the American people; and she was “the definition of carelessness” and clearly broke the law, and put national security at risk. But “no reasonable prosecutor” would prosecute her. Of course not! Because she is Hillary–and she’s the current President’s chosen successor. If it were anyone else, that person would be toast. By the way, I am NOT a fan of Trump. I am neither a Democrap nor a Repooplican. I’m just a believer in enforcing the law fairly. There’s a reason why Lady Justice has a blindfold – so, like the inscription says above the portico of the Supreme Court building, there will be “Equal Justice Under the Law.”
Truth is stranger than fiction: Dr. Kellogg invented corn flakes for the specific purpose of helping people lose the urge to engage in “secret vice” (which he said could cause everything from blindness to epilepsy). Dr. Kellogg was married but never consummated the marriage; all of his children were adopted. He was convinced that spicy foods magnified the “animal passions,” and thus he required all patients in the Battle Creek Sanitarium to eat bland foods. Part of that special anti-solitary-vice diet was Corn Flakes. And now you know the rest of the story. You can find more of the details at: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/10/23/1331075/-The-Strange-History-of-Corn-Flakes
There is some evidence that C.W. Post stole his cereal recipe from J.H. Kellogg. So when you eat Post cereals, you may be supporting the descendants of a thief.
This comment was deleted because it did not meet the high editorial standards of BarelyAdventist.
What did it say?
It said: “This comment was deleted because it did not meet the high editorial standards of BarelyAdventist.”
But what did it say originally?
The same thing.
I believe that Teddy really eats the Special K for the nutritious fiber content. He also uses it for the Special K vega meat loaf that all SDA’s love.. Personally, I love the Kellogg’s Pep cereal, Rice Krispies and Raisen Bran. Yummy Yummy, Good for your tummy. Wash it all down with Kaffir tea-iced cold of course or that kaffree cola from Worthington. Maybe a few Little Debbies for good measure. Woe iz me!!
Richard, it’s not good to drink with your meals. Any Adventist who reads that article about Dr. Kellogg’s motivation for inventing corn flakes, should think twice about eating anything but corn flakes. Woe iz the whole world!
And how, exactly, did the U.N. Secretary-General get clued in to the SDA’s wonderful promotion of health through “amazing breakfast cereals”? Was it via a press release from the same people who claim that we promote health through high-fat/high-sodium meat substitutes and blatantly high-sugar/high-fat/high-calories snack cakes? When are we going to promote fresh fruits and vegetables?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! There are,
nevertheless, some pitfalls in regards to clinic. Once I was a
school student, I wondered how one should tackle this matter but
I’d always encounter some questionable responses:
go google it or even ask a friend. What if my friends don’t have enough knowledge or expertise to help me?
Imagine if I googled it several times and couldn’t locate the solution?
That’s when posts like this you can give appropriate advice on the matter.