SAN ANTONIO, Texas — With the doors of the ark-like Alamodome about to close for good on the San Antonio General Conference Session, single Adventists are swarming around each other in an all-out flirting frenzy hoping to up their chances of landing an Adventist mate of higher quality than the decidedly average duds on offer back at their local churches.
“If you’re in it to win it you realize that this is a numbers game,” said Vespa Deight, a representative from AdventistDate. Waving at a crowd pulsing with animated gestures and chipper chatter, she said that she advises single Adventists to give this weekend all they’ve got. “Put on your most Sabbathy outfit, put a smile on your face and just go be a conqueror,” she encouraged.
Deight said that over the course of the last 10 days she has reminded everyone from desperate single pastor delegates to recent Adventist college graduates that the final GC Sabbath is the ultimate opportunity to turn their romantic fortunes around.
“Thousands of people have flown in for this final Sabbath and everyone is determined to get their money’s worth,” said Deight. “This is an Adventist veggie meat market.”
Deight suggests that hopefuls prayerfully commit themselves to boldness for the entire day. In a remarkably Adventist mix of metaphors she said, “I tell everyone the same thing: Don’t throw your pearls to the swine. If someone isn’t biting, move on. You won’t have this many options for another five years.”
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