COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Citing a need to sanitize a downright pagan holiday, Southern Adventist University administrators have announced a Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party.
Officially sponsored by the School of Religion, students have been given near-carte-blanche to “tastefully illustrate” any beast mentioned in the book of Revelation.
“Some might find this holiday event unsavory but we as North American Adventists have neglected the book of Revelation over the last several decades and it is high time we revived some interest in it,” said New Testament professor, Neerget Tenure, a faculty organizer for the party. “We thought that a creative way to generate conversation about the Bible’s last book was to throw a costume party. Plus, college kids aren’t into vegetarian canned food collection which seems to be the only other sanctioned activity this time of year.”
University administrators insisted that some guidelines be established for the event. One very specific rule forbids any student, staff or faculty member – whether male or female – from dressing as the whore of Babylon.
“She isn’t a beast and even if she were, we have a feeling her outfit would violate our dress code,” said Tenure.
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