COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Citing a need to sanitize a downright pagan holiday, Southern Adventist University administrators have announced a Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party.
Officially sponsored by the School of Religion, students have been given near-carte-blanche to “tastefully illustrate” any beast mentioned in the book of Revelation.
“Some might find this holiday event unsavory but we as North American Adventists have neglected the book of Revelation over the last several decades and it is high time we revived some interest in it,” said New Testament professor, Neerget Tenure, a faculty organizer for the party. “We thought that a creative way to generate conversation about the Bible’s last book was to throw a costume party. Plus, college kids aren’t into vegetarian canned food collection which seems to be the only other sanctioned activity this time of year.”
University administrators insisted that some guidelines be established for the event. One very specific rule forbids any student, staff or faculty member – whether male or female – from dressing as the whore of Babylon.
“She isn’t a beast and even if she were, we have a feeling her outfit would violate our dress code,” said Tenure.
- Where Single Adventists meet. Free 2 year membership. Divorced, widowed, and never married welcomed. We want Adventists to meet other Adventists.
I’m going dressed as Laodicea, wearing my usual Canadian attire: flip-flops, and shorts with a parka. From experience, I already know that they (top end/bottom end) balance each other out, and I will be lukewarm. I will be feeling like a ‘true’ Adventist.
GIVEN THE STATUS I HOLD IN MY COMMUNITY OF SINNERS AND SAINTS, I WILL GO AS THE LITTLE HORN.
I’LL GO AS MYSELF AND ITS A SURE THING I’LL WIN BEST COSTUME.
can we call your Hornie, for short?
YES OF COURSE. SEE YOU TOMORROW .
For this party, I would dress up as an underling for the false prophet of Rev 13. I would appear as either a sunglass wearing FBI or Mossad agent, or as a military General in standard uniform on an inspection tour from the Pentagon in charge of keeping Seventh-day Adventists stupefied about false-flag operations.
As the presidency of Dr. Ben Carson nears, surely a sign of the times, the church needs to produce a live action feature film about the End Times and the unholy alliance between America and the Catholic Church to persecute Sabbathkeepers all over the world, starring the Beasts of Revelation in stunning CGI, should bring in a box right up there with Jurassic World!
Somebody is going to dress like an angel, like the one that visited the Israelites back in Egypt before the Exodus. Can I come as Uncle Sam in the lamb-like beast? Sounds like fun-fun-fun-fun. Just like Babylon fun! Will the wine be flowing? Woe is me!
YES, BUT WATCH FOR SOME OF THOSE WEIRDOS WHO LIKE SHEEP..
The only wine allowed in Collegedale is the vegetarian variety (and the vegan variety for the really conservative folks).
TRUE, AND IT STILL GETS THEM TIPSY
I hope poor Prof. Neerget Tenure will eventually get tenure in spite of this crazy beastoween party.
What does Southern have against Revelational whores?
ILL TELL YOU, THEY CHARGE TOO MUCH AND WONT TAKE CREDIT CARDS
YES, I HAVE THIS TO BE THE CASE. SAD.
146Dear Hinterlander,I’m glad you found this blog helpful. I encourage you to get in touch with the Evangelism department of the OCA and the Antiochian Archdiocese. In the meantime let’s keep praying that Orthodoxy will grow and flourish in America.Robert
My girlfriend states cute things however in a tease method to her female friends. Her female friends laugh at her jokes. What’s she telling her female friends?
I must have the natural ability of a thanking someone on your successful wedding invitations I have always consistently really liked investigating a web page. Weâ€™re anticipating the very start of most your environs researching plus the huge footwork wouldnâ€™t happen to 100 % require traveling onto your blog site. A lot more is likely to be for any assist with the mediocre ones, We are fortunate which might help with what Iâ€™ve come to understand came from here.
Mac is used only by 2 percent of world wide business and serious student community (yeah this is not a slur on people using Mac) so obviously PC gains importance over Mac.