BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Researchers at Andrews University who have been studying Sabbath morning children’s stories in Adventist churches have come to a shocking conclusion: The answer to 99% of questions asked during the stories is “Jesus.”
“Answering “Jesus” is a safe bet almost every time,” said lead researcher, Elle Salvador, who said that Adventist kids zone out during story time because they are so sure they have the answer to any question.
Salvador said that even on the odd occasion that “Jesus” is not the correct answer, the average Adventist congregation will find it too adorable to not reward the little cherub that thinks it is, with a hearty “Amen.”
“Plus, no self-respecting children’s storyteller wants to go on record telling a group of kids that Jesus is not the answer,” said Salvador.
“You’ll never recover from the looks of disappointment on the faces of the children or the death glares from the parents.”