Following the recent announcement that the General Conference was scrapping the much-anticipated release of the web series The Record Keeper, a set of guidelines for acceptable creative expression has been released. To avoid future confusion, new creative evangelism projects will only be funded and approved by the GC if they take the form of PowerPoint slides.
The announcement comes against the backdrop of massive outrage over the suspension of the 11-part steampunk series which was based on The Great Controversy by Ellen G. White. The series had already received hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Church and clearance from numerous GC committees. The Record Keeper had garnered rave reviews from screening audiences and won film festival awards but had not yet been released for the general public.
“We are still big proponents of creative outreach,” said GC spokesperson Greg Hansel in a press conference scheduled to address the uproar. “Some might be discouraged that we had to suspend The Record Keeper due to theological inaccuracies. But we aren’t going to leave our creative members high and dry. As of today we are releasing a pre-approved database of hundreds of PowerPoint templates available for free download.”
Hansel went on to explain that each PowerPoint template features attractive color schemes “but nothing too racy.” He said that the GC had declared the following as acceptable fonts: Arial, Times New Roman and (on a case by case basis) Comic Sans.
“Feel free to go crazy with slide transitions, though. Fade-aways, spinners, bouncing cubes — flip those bad boys any which way your heart desires. I mean, there’s a reason we call it creative license!” said Hansel.
Responding to the critique that the church had just gotten rid of what many saw as its first promising foray into modern filmmaking, Hansel called on those present to remember that “just because we have the Present Truth doesn’t mean we have to be current. We are fine with using contemporary methods of outreach as long as they have first been scrutinized for 20 years.”
“…Hansel called on those present to remember that “just because we have the Present Truth doesn’t mean we have to be current.”
Seriously! This is the leadership we have at the GC. We as Adventist are not suppose to be current! There’s not even a response I can think of for this blatant disregard for the need of the Adventist church leadership to take its head out of the sand. And they wonder why the youth are leaving the church and churches are emptying out in great numbers. They wonder why we are still the butt of criticism and ridicule when it comes to [Adventists not thinking] ‘outside the box’, promoting innovation, and creating forward thinking ideas that can push our church forward.
Michael, you know that this is satirical, right?
*scans comments for true outrage to fake news*
*finds it in FIRST comment*
*drums fingers and laughs maniacally*
Love your comment AdjustedSails.
So so so so so so so so true!
Lol! This is actually one hilarious blogpost.
Thank you so much for this article. I fear that many won’t “get” it, but knowing that this is here makes me feel better.
“The arrow of satire strikes closest to the heart of the matter.©®™” — Myself.
I had never heard of that project until now. Way to be current, me. And by the way, that’s funny about the approved fonts and the creative license to spin PPT slides like crazy. I thought that was standard operating procedure in any church powerpoint!
“Fade-aways, spinners, bouncing cubes — flip those bad boys any which way your heart desires.”
I think PowerPoint slides should be classed as sinful… 😀
Trisha – I agree!!
I’m glad someone in leadership had the courage to suspend this series. Giving untruths is worse than giving nothing at all.