ADVENTIST WORLD — After complaints from thousands of Pathfinders and counselors that traditional Pathfindering is way too rough, clubs around the world will now only offer glamping experiences.
Pathfinders will arrive at campgrounds featuring spacious, pre-assembled walk-in tents where they will sleep on raised beds featuring 1,500-thread count sheets, down comforters and blankets.
En suite bathrooms with double ply toilet paper will replace those nasty porta potties. Spacious tubs and spa products will erase the scarring memory of trickly, cold camp showers.
Haystacks will now feature locally-foraged organic veggies, artisan cheeses and fresh guac made from carefully-picked, sun-ripened avocados.
Pathfinders will be issued pre-tied square knots to “tighten” for the knot honor and the cat patch is getting scrapped because you can just Google that kind of thing.