SILVER SPRING, Md. — An old-boy network is busy packing glass ceiling schematics and immense influence into boxes for a move into the General Conference building later this month.
The network has announced it will be moving in the second the North American Division vacates the second floor of the GC building for their new headquarter a few miles away.
The old-boy network controls everything from the price of carob to the gender pay gap dividing denominational employees.
“A lot of people confuse our network with the institution of ordination,” said Old-Boy Network speaker, Notiene Sentido.
“But just because membership is all-male and invite-only doesn’t mean our special circle has to even pretend to have scriptural backing.”
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I realize that this site is for satire, but: Think of how much our church could save in air miles alone, if the NAD would move to some central US airport hub (like Denver), and the GC would move to the center of the land hemisphere, London.
Glad to see the good ole’ boy network still in existence. It has helped me tremendously as I rose thru the ranks of SDA employment. It’s in all who you know, not what you know. A name dropper helps here & there. Former college roommates and all that stuff. Keep me posted.
Perhaps the boys could go to the 6th floor and lounge in room 666.