BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — Local legalist and amateur unicyclist Wudfer Treeze rejoiced in the discovery of a new strip mall at which to practice his balancing act this morning.
Treeze was delighted to see that a sign banning all manner of wheeled activity made no mention of unicycling in the shopping area.
Giddily making his way down past shops on his unicycle, Treeze narrowly missed two small children and an elderly shopper pushing a walker.
Ignoring their angry stares, he cycled further while reviewing the fine print of the Adventist church manual ahead of a church board meeting tonight.
As he reached for a highlighter to mark up some spicy passages with which to bombard fellow board members, Treeze collided head-on with a security officer on a segue.
Within minutes he was escorted off the premises with the strip mall management’s full assurance that they could care less about his take on the letter of the law.