COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has confirmed that the final remaining single students at the university just got engaged to one another.
Kristian Lentisimo got down on one knee at the end of chapel in front of Kerstyn Väntar and popped the question in front of the entire (married or engaged) student body.
Väntar dropped her book bag in relief that Lentisimo had finally gotten around to proposing mere weeks before their respective families would have peppered them with courtship questions at Thanksgiving.
To massive cheers, Väntar said “yes” ushering a new milestone into Walla Walla’s history.
As the happy couple walked out of chapel hand in hand, enrollment officials realized their new dilemma: how do you recruit students to a school where absolutely no one is available?
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HE IS REALLY A SHE AND SHE IS REALLY A HE, THEY HAVE NO WORK EXPERIENCE, THEY WATCH FRIENDS, THEY BELIEVE IN VEGETARIAN DIET AND AROMA THERAPY. THEY WANT TO SAVE THE WALES. THEY FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING WHITE. THEY ARE MAJORING IN PHILOSOPHY AND HOPE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, THEY HOPE THEIR PARENTS CONTINUE TO FUND THEM. IF THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN BORN IN 1940, THEY WOULD BE HIPPIES.