iPhone Designer Jony Ive Leaves Apple To Fix Adventist Prophetic Charts

Needs work.

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Sir Jony Ive, the famed designer of the iMac, the iPod and the iPhone, is leaving Apple after decades of service to, in his own words, “make Adventist prophetic charts less confusing.”

The designer said that the beast illustrations on the charts “are not scary in any conventional sense… just scary bad.”

He added that he could never, for the life of him, make sense of the timelines and “super-confusing arrows going all over the place.”

Sir Jonathan said that although it was hard to leave Apple after so many years, he knew it was time to give the charts a facelift because he couldn’t stand “going cross-eyed every time I try to make sense of Adventist prophecy illustrations.”


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