GC organizes mandatory Unity Lock-in for rebel union leaders

This could take a while...
This could take a while…

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist leaders that attended a General Conference-organized invite-only event have been out of contact with the outside world for days.

Leaders of Adventist unions around the world with non-sanctioned views on women’s ordination had been invited to the Silver Spring headquarters of the church for what the GC called “mandatory fun and fellowship in the form of a Youth Ministries-Style Unity Lock-In.”

After arriving at the denomination’s headquarters, the union leaders were ushered to changing rooms where they were issued striped black and white “event attire” as well some orange jumpsuits that they were told could come in handy during down time.

A GC hospitality team even offered complimentary forced haircuts for the group.

The leaders were then taken to what was simply described as a secure location with only one key which seems to have gone missing.

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  1. Kim Jong-punk

    Wait a minute, sevvy. Are you talking about the G.C., or North Korea? It all sounds the same to me. Next time Dennis Rodman visits me, I’ll invite Teddy Willson too!

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